Tis the Season for Hording

I love Christmas. And I'd love to pretend it's because of Jesus and giving and magical talking snowmen from Queens, but really, I like getting things. I love possessions. I want to HAVE things. Turns out, in most cases, that I don't in any way need the things I desire, and in a lot of cases, I can hardly find the time to get around to actually using any of the things I crave and desire and so forth. That doesn't stop me from wanting more things, of course. With that in mind, I took a peek at the Tower o' DVDs to evaluate the status of presents from the recent past. Here were my findings:

1) "24" Season 1

Received: Christmas 2005

Status: 20% complete

Comments: I skipped 24 through the first 3 seasons, but I was bored, lonely and - most importantly - equipped with a functional television when season 4 rolled around. I watched it and loved it. Then I got season 1 for Christmas. I watched four or five episodes on New Year's Eve ('05/'06). This was when Kristin and I lived in her parent's attic. I swear I'll watch this someday. Probably when I'm living alone. Kristin has zero interest in ever finishing this.

2) "Alias" Seasons 1, 2 & 3

Received: Christmas 2005 (1), 2007 (2 &3)

Status: Season 1 is 70% complete; seasons 2 and 3 remain in plastic

Comments: These aren't my DVDs. They're Kristin's. We were totally enjoying season 1 and so Kristin asked for the next two seasons and got them. Of course, we never finished season 1. I'm totally up for at least finishing that set, but Kristin's interest has ebbed all the way down to zero. Once again, breaking the other TV comes back to bite me in the ass.

3) Children of Men

Received: Christmas 2007

Status: in plastic

Comments: I loved this movie...why I thought I needed to see it again I'm not sure. Probably someday, someone will come over and say, "Children of Men? Is that any good?" and then BOOM. Until then Clive Owen will have to just sit there and smolder silently to himself.

4) Faith Rewarded

Received: Christmas 2004

Status: in plastic

Comments: This is a DVD about the Red Sox 2004 World Series win. Kristin is a Yankee fan and hates the Red Sox. She bought me the DVD as a begrudging sign of good faith. That was good of her, but I'm pretty positive she inadvertently cursed the Yankees with her simple loving gesture. To make it up to her, I'm never going to open this up and watch it. Unless the Red Sox start to stink.

5) Ferris Bueller's Day Off

Received: hmmm...Graduation 2003...Valentine's Day...Christmas...I have no idea

Status: in plastic

Comments: my college girlfriend (I can call her that because there was only one of those) gave me this. Why? I don't remember. It's a good movie, but five years later I find that I've never been sitting around and suddenly thought "Hey! I totally feel like watching 'Ferris Bueller' right now!" I mean, that's what basic cable is for, right?

6) The Ultimate Ric Flair Collection

Received: Christmas 2006

Status: 85% complete

Comments: I have a lot of wrestling-related DVDs. Did you know that? I loved professional wrestling as a kid, distanced myself from it for a long while as a teen, and then became completely fascinated with it in my 20s. That's something I'm still trying to work out, but I can't deny my interests. Anyway, I'm pretty much all the way through this DVD set. Actually, 85% in 2 years is a high benchmark for me...

7) Harry Potter 1, 2, 3 & 4

Received: Christmas 2005 (1, 2 & 3), 2006 (4)

Status: plastic, plastic, watched, plastic

Comments: Seriously. Do you have cable? Turn it on right now. Grab your remote and cycle through the channels....keep going...couple more...THERE IT IS! And that version has built in potty breaks.

8) He-Man volumes 1, 2, 3 & 4

Received: bought for myself (1), Christmas 2007 (2&3), sent by my mom just for shits and giggles (4)

Status: 45% (volume 1), unwatched, unwatched, unwatched

Comments: That's a lot of fucking He-Man.

9) Hot Fuzz

Received: Christmas 2007

Status: in plastic

Comments: Santa dropped this in my stocking last year. Saw it in the theaters and liked it quite a bit. Am I supposed to watch it again?

10) It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia (seasons 1&2)

Received: Christmas 2007

Status: 40% complete

Comments: I love this show. I also forget that I own it. Awesomely forgettable. That's a compliment, right?

11) Outlaw Star

Received: Christmas 2007

Status: 25% complete

Comments: Anime is a shaky breezeway for me to walk upon. I have two series on DVD - Trigun and Cowboy Beebop - and they're two of my favorite TV shows of all time, but a lot of anime is completely incomprehensible to me. I heard good things about Outlaw Star, but it was never on TV, so Santa brought it to me. So far? Pretty alright, I suppose. I don't think I've watch an episode since May though...that may be telling...

12) Pan's Labyrinth

Received: Christmas 2007

Status: in plastic

Comments: I love this movie. Strangely, I haven't felt like depressing the holy fuck out of myself recently, which explains why this remains on the bench.

13) Robot Chicken (season 1)

Received: Christmas 2006

Status: 70% complete

Comments: Another good one. I think this set suffers from the same "Oh shit! I forgot I own this!" disorder currently afflicting my Sunny in Philadelphia set.

14) Voltron (seasons 1 & 2)

Received: Christmas 2006

Status: 5% complete

Comments: Did you know that Voltron makes no absolutely no fucking sense? I did not remember that. My memories of Voltron were of sweet-ass lion-esque robots tearing ass across the countryside and beating the shortbread out of some purple-looking dude. Maybe that happens later. I only watched one episode. It's taken me 2 years to recover from the aneurysm. i think I'm ready for episode 2.